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 20%
of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is
having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel
is now holding his mobile in his hand
A
woman likes to have four animals in the house: a
jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a
bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.
Are
these your eyes, I found them between my brests!
At
this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at
the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.
Be
friendly with your kids, they choose your home when
you are old!
Be
nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be
their last.
BEEB!
Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will
have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this
chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
Birdy
birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't
care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't
fly!!
Braindetector
activated, calibrating, now searching.........still
searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still
searching.......no brains found.
Did
I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey
jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .
Do
not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
Don't
feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !
E
man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a
woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not
need.
Excessive
use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.
For
you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you
promise to stay here ?"
God
created the earth, God created the woods, God created
you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!
God
created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man
and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also
created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make
herself up’!
HALLO,
this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I
just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is
unbearable!!!
Hello
I am a virus and I am entering your brain right
now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
Hello,
this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the
worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf
of the whole world..
How
would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled
or impregnated?
I
am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because
you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
I
am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T
I
am not your type ... I am not inflatable.
I
know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able
to have kids...
I
like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer,
beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and
when the glass is empty i just take the next one!
I
once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my
nostrils...
If
being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day
long.
If
you have picture where you look old, keep them. In
twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a
bit.
If
you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are
not fit enough to travel.
Ik
would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people
say ... look he is working!
In
case of fire read this
message.....................................I SAID IN
CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!
It
is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well
shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French
word ... MOI!!
Love
me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???
Mobile
sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for
a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my
number!
My
feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic
? " "No, they make me sick."
My
mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder
where she is at this moment...
Nice
perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?
One
out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your
mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be
you.
Opticians
bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are
too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong
place.
Read
in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed
roses
are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but
what the hell happened to you????
roses
are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this
one doesn't...
Scientists
in the US proved that people who do not perform well
in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their
mobile in their right hand ..................
Smoking
is allowed in this area, blowing not!
The
more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know
the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know,
so why should I be learning??
The
one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating
blood !
They
dropped your name, can you pick it up ?
This
cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep
cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat,
seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
This
is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this
message a virus will be activated. This virus should
have infected your mobile by now.
Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.
This
is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper
during the working hours and do certainly not miss the
job adds."
This
sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try
again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one
more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!
Those
beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a
sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about
me, tell me how you are?
We
cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you
are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is
proven statistically that at that age only few people
die."
We
will now upgrade your brain.......Please
wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still
searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!
What
he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not
want ... What we want, is not allowed!
When
I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you
and gave you a shower!!
You
are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical
expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.
You
are never too blond to learn !!!
You
got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the
BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the
BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number
You
have the ones that think and you have the ones that do
things. The worst kind are those who think that they
are doing things.
You
should know what it takes to look this cheap!
You
used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak
around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not
play with you
You
will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will
you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?
You
with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you
with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number
You’d
better not be a dayfly and not having your day.
Your
provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by
the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are,
the less you pay.
You can telephone for free from now on!
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